Do you look in the mirror and hate what you see?
Are you ashamed to go out in public, so you choose to miss out on fun times with the people you care about?
There was a time in my life where I hated going places, or even seeing people, and I have to admit, my life sucked like that! So if you can relate, I hope you can feel my virtual hug, because that life is hard.
I’m naturally an extrovert, but yet an introvert at the same time. Sounds quirky, doesn’t it? But it’s true. I love people, enjoy conversation, but I also love staying home and just being with the ones I love most, and enjoy some alone time. When I’m with a group of people, I love every single second of it and get to be myself while loving on others, but then I need down time for about three days after because of the high it gave me. It’s crazy.
I used to wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and think, “you’re so gross, why would anyone love you? You’re lazy, fat, and good grief, you can’t do anything right!”
It literally would bog me down every. single. day. I’d spend the rest of my day in a funk because of what I mentally said to myself that morning. That kind of negativity really did a number on my brain. It caused relationships around me to be strained, and even functioning, or showering for that matter, became a struggle.
I mean, why should I take care of myself when I clearly hated myself?
I had to face those demons. This was not ok, anymore. It was literally destroying me.
Let’s jump in to a few effective tips to surrender this self-sabotaging, self-hate once and for all.
A beautiful soul told me to grab the book, You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay.
Y’all, this book is P.O.W.E.R.F.U.L.
So, I started telling myself, out loud, while looking in the mirror, “I love and accept you just as you are!”
It felt like a lie.
Positive words after years of negative ones, take time to really knock out those harmful things out of your brain. It’s almost like they were programmed in me. It took a while, and I still critique myself on the daily, but now I’m asking if it’s something I have the power to change for the better, and if I do, then I start taking steps to move towards that, versus mentally abusing my own self.
Believing in myself also became a real thing.
I’m not talking about worshiping myself. I’m talking about believing that I could do anything I put my mind to. I know that I was created with love, uniqueness, and a purpose here on earth. And guess what, beautiful? You were too!
Sure, we may have some weight loss goals we need to achieve, or a career goal we’re working towards, but it all starts in the mind. Do you have the belief that you can do it? Or are you doubting yourself in every way, which ultimately sabotages your efforts towards the goal?
Some people just go through life aimlessly. So let’s do a little journaling. Grab a piece of paper and a pen. Take a moment right now to write down some goals, or dreams, in one month, six months, one year, and even five years from now. It could be anything from losing 10 pounds, to getting a degree in something you’re passionate about, or going on vacation with your soul mate.
Now, break those down. What actionable steps can you take to get you to where you want to be? Label your page, “Vision of the Future Me.”
So let’s say you have a weight loss goal of 50 pounds. What steps can you take to achieve that huge goals?
- Add in a few more fruits and veggies each week.
- Drink more water.
- Walk for 5 minutes a day until you can work up to something longer.
Think about it in small, actionable steps.
You are worth feeling great, and experiencing your dreams. You are worth loving. You were created and born with these desires for a reason. They can and will come true if you start by believing in yourself.
Tune out the naysayers.
So many people give their opinions, even when we don’t ask for them. It can be annoying, and downright depressing, when they say something and then we take it to heart and think, well, crap, she’s right. I can’t do that. Um, why not? Why would she be right when this thing has been placed in YOUR heart? It’s not hers, girl! Grab it for yourself. Take ownership of it. Just rock it, and send her love. She may be struggling with rockin’ one of her goals, and feels the need to put yours down because she can’t reach hers. Sad, but true.
No one has the power to dictate your future, but you.
Now, take some time to make your “Vision of the Future Me,” pretty. Use pretty pens, stickers, type it, whatever. Then post it in random areas around your home. On the refrigerator, above your desk, in your bathroom. This will constantly remind you of your goals, and help you to take small, actionable steps each day to get you to where you ultimately want to be.
Do you have supportive friends and family?
This is so important. Your environment matters, so if someone that you love isn’t supportive of your visions for your future self, take time to open up communication with them. Hear about why they feel the way they do. Allow them to speak freely, listen intently without trying to figure out a defensive reply. Allow love to flow.
Once you’ve heard what they fear, think, or believe, don’t give up hope, or throw in the towel and say it’s useless.
Speak openly about your visions, what it would mean to you if you achieved these things, and how it would affect your life in a positive way. Some people just don’t like change. Show them how it could bring you closer together. Or maybe open up doors for your financial future. Find some benefits and share those with them.
Find someone else that is doing what you want to do, reach out to them, ask questions, lean on them for support as you navigate through it all. They can be a cheerleader, or a support system if you mess up or get off track. But most of all, don’t beat yourself up anymore. Focus on your positives, and give yourself a break.
Change starts with loving yourself, period.
Choosing to surrender self-hate, that literally LIES within our minds, is a process, a do-able process. Hatred never serves anyone. I also believe hate can’t possibly exist when love takes over.
If this post encouraged you in some way, or you feel even a glimmer of hope to rock your goals, I would absolutely love to hear from you! Leave a comment below, or jump over on my Facebook page and let me know what steps you’re about to take to rock your goals.
